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Adoptee Resources
While this page is called Adoptee Resources, it is also for donor conceived individuals, others with unknown parents, and anyone interested in adoption.
As an adoptee in search for more than 25 years—and a pioneer in the use of DNA testing to find birth parents—I have discovered many useful resources that I am sharing here.
DNA Testing
Genetic genealogy DNA tests have helped me—and thousands of others—get around sealed records, lies, and coverups to identify and reunite with biological family members.
See my Finding Lost Family page for details on how this is done.
Five home DNA tests are certainly among the most important adoptee resources. To learn more about each one and see current pricing, click the links.
No Medical History?
St. Luke's University has a free DNA Answers program that uses medical-grade analysis of participants’ DNA through technology designed specifically for healthcare purposes.
Outsource Your Search?
Most people will not be lucky enough to immediately match a close relative on any of these DNA tests. If that's you, success is still possible. But you need to dive deeply into both genetic genealogy and conventional genealogy.
See my DNA Education page.
Identifying the common ancestors you share with distant DNA matches and then tracing many families forward in time to identify your birth parent can easily require 100 hours or more.
That's typical for an experienced researcher who already knows what to do.
Learning how to do it yourself will take a lot longer.
If you don’t have that much time—or you’re concerned about birth parents passing away before you find them—you should consider outsourcing your search.
You can hire a professional genealogist from companies such as Legacy Tree Genealogists and Ancestry Pro Genealogists.
Today's Most Important Book on Adoption
“Hole in My Heart” by Lorraine Dusky feels like two different but complementary books beautifully stitched together by a gifted author. The first is a heartfelt memoir of a young woman forced by circumstances to give up her child for adoption. The second, backed by copious footnotes, is an overview of adoption in America, including the long-term impact on adoptees, and efforts to reform adoption through open records.
As an adoptee myself, I have read many books on the subject. While Dusky only occupies one corner of the adoption triangle, the long, emotionally exhausting reunion with her daughter yielded deep insights into the perspectives of adoptees and their adoptive parents. This book helps readers understand the challenges and trauma of adoption from all sides.
The book also provides an important glimpse of American society as it used to be. Today, with nearly 50% of babies born to single mothers, it can be hard for younger readers to imagine the overwhelming shame felt by unwed mothers and the enormous pressure they faced to give up their babies.
My biological mother knew the couple that adopted me. Yet she died in an accident just 13 months after my birth. Had she lived, would she have reached out to me someday? I will never know. As Dusky makes clear, life is full of What-Ifs that can hold us like a vice and never let go.
While Dusky’s path is not the one she wanted, the world is a much better place for her being the one to take it. First, she had the courage to become a revered spokesperson for open records and that movement has progressed much farther than it would have without her. Secondly, as a seasoned journalist, she was the perfect writer to research and write this amazing book.
Adoptee Resources on Facebook
My Facebook Groups page includes many groups focused on genetic genealogy. Since DNA testing is such a powerful tool for finding birth families, these are important adoptee resources.
In addition, there are dozens of Facebook groups that focus specifically on adoptees, adoption, or similar topics.
I list the more active adoptee groups below in four categories.
Be aware that some groups fit more than one category. Within each category these adoptee resources are listed in alphabetical order.
Note that NPE stands for Not the Parent Expected and MPE stands for Misattributed Parentage Experience.
Adoptee Search Groups
AmerAsian DNA: A Search for Fathers (DNA Detectives)
Chinese Birth Family Search Network
Connecting Roots (for adoptees from Chile)
Donor Conceived People, Siblings, Parents, And Donors (Sperm, Egg, Embryo)
Unknown Fathers DNA (DNA Detectives)
Adoptee Support Groups
Adoptees Only: Found/Reunion The Next Chapter
Forum for Late-Discovery Adoptees
MPE: Cross Cultural Connections
Adoptee Podcast
Adoptees On The podcast where adoptees discuss the adoption experience.
Adoption Discussion Groups
Adoptees, NPEs, Donor Conceived & Other Genetic Identity Seekers
Late Discovery Adoptees & Family
Adoption Reform Groups
Adoption Community "Field of Dreams" USA - ONE VOICE
Adoption Truth and Transparency Worldwide Information Network
ALARM - Advocating Legislation for the Adoption Reform Movement
Workshops and Retreats
Adoption can be traumatic. Dr. Liz DeBetta, an adoptee herself, offers workshops and coaching for adoptees (adults & teens) and adoptive families, and women using through her Migrating Toward Wholeness program. Use the link to learn more and schedule a free discovery call.
Hiraeth Hope and Healing offers retreats for Adopted Folks, Donor Conceived People, Late Discovery Adoptees, and NPEs.
Selected Books
Hole in My Heart
Finding Family: My Search for Roots and the Secrets in My DNA
The Adoptees Guide to DNA Testing
Adoption Reunion in the Social Media Age
American Baby: A Mother, a Child, and the Shadow History of Adoption
More books at Adoptee Reading
Useful Adoption Websites
International Child Search Alliance (China)
National Association of Adoptees and Parents
Original Birth Certificates: State-By-State Access
Selected Blog Posts
Lessons for Adoptees with Unknown Parentage
Plea from adoptee to first mothers in the closet: Give us a chance
Tips for Families Searching for Adoptees
Selected Articles
Adoptees Gaining Access to Original Birth Certificates
After A DNA Surprise: 10 Things No One Wants to Hear
Another Type of Secret Revealed by DNA Tests
Are You Keeping a Secret About Your Child's Birth?
Despite Mixed Results, South Asian Adoptees Turn To DNA Tests To Find Relatives
DNA Databases Uniting American Veterans with Long-lost Children
Donor-conceived people are tracking down their biological fathers, even if they want to hide
Italian Adoptees Using DNA to Find Birth Families
Navigating Family DNA Surprises, A Guide for Healthcare Providers
Rights of adoptees deserve a larger conversation
Sperm Donors Can No Longer Remain Anonymous
The Coalition for Genetic Truth
The Woman Who Stole 5,000 Babies
Tips to Help You Prepare Before an in-Person Meeting With DNA Relatives
When a DNA Test Shatters Your Identity
Follow me for DNA news and updates on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter
DNA Blog Posts
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Getting DNA from Letters, Stamps, Etc.
Dec 20, 24 11:00 AM
Genetic Legacies (formerly Keepsake DNA) is now testing artifacts from deceased ancestors to upload to GEDMatch. -
Learn About DNA Testing for Genealogy
Dec 18, 24 11:00 AM
Want to learn more about genetic genealogy? This page on my website provides links to the best DNA education resources. -
Adoptee Finds Father Among Facebook Friends
Dec 16, 24 11:00 AM
Rejected again by her birth mother, this woman used a DNA test to find and reunite with her birth father.
Do you have a favorite DNA testing resource that's missing from this site?
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Copyright © 2022 Richard Hill